Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Should I shant I?

I would add a poll, but I don't know how to.. so if anyone reads this... just leave a comment.

Before cancer James and I were planning on having babies, and had a VR to do so. We found out about the cancer, and found out his VR failed. So we had a testicular biopsy done and froze 1.1 million sperm. James said if something were to happen to him, he'd want me to continue on and have a baby.

What do you think? Should I? Shant I? I plan on if I decide to go ahead then I would wait until after the first of the year. My sister says it isn't fair for the child to not have a father. What about if I were to have gotten pg and then he died? Or what about those that are fatherless by choice? Is that any different? I figure they would have 2 great big brothers to tell them about their dad. What are your thoughts?


  1. I think that you shouldn't decide anything until you have really been able to grieve for awhile. Personally I would wait until next year at this time to decide or seriously consider it.

    I know that I loved growing up with just my mom but it was at times incredibly difficult for her- although if you ask her she of course can not imagine her life any differently (in a good way:)

    I think this is something that you can give yourself a lot of time to consider.

  2. I think you need to do what is right for you, Katie. This is ultimately the most personal decision you will make and while others might have good intentions in giving you opinions, only you will know what is right for YOU, so take opinions with a grain of salt.

    That being said, I will say (similar to what Ash said) that I think it's a good idea to think about it more throughout your grieving process, and see how it feels as you move on. I am so sorry you have to make this decision - no woman should ever have to make this kind of decision. It just is not fair.

  3. I say do it if you loved deeply and are sure that you can provide for your and James' child alone. When my Nicholas passed, I was praying that I was pregnant, but wasn't. I see 'our' child in my mind all the time. I don't know how old you are, but for me, there will be no one else and I would love to have the opportunity that you have. i have a blog too http://www.thealchemyofpain.blogspot.com. Good luck and keep us posted.