Monday, June 15, 2009

First Holidays in 05- 971 and 991

Well in the first year we were dating we had Halloween, Thanksgiving, My birthday, and Christmas! Too much! ;-)

Halloween I worked, and so of course we didn't celebrate that! Then there was my birthday! James was TOO sweet! I didn't think he'd get me anything, but he did! He totally surprised me and bought me a gorgeous white gold watch! So girly and cute! I loved that watch and wore it whenever we went out on nice dates! Too cool!

Then there was Thanksgiving. I worked a double, so we didn't celebrate together. I can't remember what James did, but I know it didn't mean too much to him. :D

Christmas was interesting. Both Ja'Vaughn and Ashton came up. My dad and his girlfriend came, and my sister her husband and my nephew came (my sister was also pregnant at this time!). It was interesting to say the least. At work James had bought some nuts in a tin. He had that on the coffee table. My nephew, 2 at the time, decided to play and opened the nuts and had his fingers ALL over them! James was NOT happy! Of course he didn't say anything because it was the first holdiay, but I know how unhappy he was!

My sister also made fun of me for being a cheerleader in high school. I was not so thrilled in that at all! I mean how do you do that in front of your sister's new boyfriend and his family? UGH! Frustrating!

Now for the good parts! The boys loved their Christmas presents. My dad had bought James a brick at the Local VFW where they had a brick wall. My dad had one and James thought it was cool, so that is what my dad got him. I remember getting James something, but honestly I don't remember now what it was! He liked it which is all that counts! ;-)

James outdid himself again and bought me jewelry! He got me a 3 piece set: necklace, ring, and ear rings that were white gold (my favorite!) and my birthstone (not my favorite LOL). I actually REALLY liked them! I had never been a fan of my birthstone, and just a few days before James had asked me what I thought of my birthstone. I went off about how much I hated it, etc! ;-) Poor guy was really worried that I was going to hate the gift! ;-)

Overall, I think the day went really good! It was a good holiday and it was good to have the family around and spend the day together! :D

Meeting the sons- 971&991

I first met the oldest son, Ja'Vaughn in September. He came up to see his dad and go to one of James' ball games. James played on the jail's softball team, and so they went and had "guy time". Ja'Vaughn seemed really nice, but quiet and reserved. He was a lot like his dad in that aspect.

He came back the next month for his birthday. My cousin, her friend, James and I all took him out to dinner at Olive Garden, as it was his favorite place to go. So we went there and I had made him a homemade card. I'm sure he thought I was crazy, but oh well! LOL He got along good with my cousin and her friend, so overall I think it was pretty successful.

I remember prior to meeting any of the sons telling James' that I wanted to make sure they were comfortable with us being together. I didn't want them to be uncomfortable and valued their opinion. James told me that they would be fine whatever because they knew that "Dad would do what dad was going to do". LOL That was cool, but I wanted to make sure that they knew I wouldn't ever come between them or take their dad away. I think they appreciated that.

Ja'Vaughn came to the house and I remember him laughing at us because we had a game called "Dirty Minds". It's really not dirty but kindof boring. LOL Ja'Vaughn just shook his head! ;-)

I didn't meet Ashton until that December, over Christmas break. Ashton was going to school in FL so he didn't come up too much. I remember when I first met Ashton.. He was COMPLETELY different than Ja'Vaughn and we got along great! That first night we went to China Inn for dinner. Afterward, we went to Wal-Mart. That was funny! Ashton can speak spanish and so while in Wal-Mart a man and son walked by and said something in Spanish.

James asked Ashton what he said, and Ashton translated. It was something about taking up the aisle or something like that. James was TICKED! He wanted to go back and say something but both Ashton and I talked him out of it! LOL James didn't like it and I could understand, but also understood Ashton's point of view! That put a bit of a strain on the guys! LOL I felt like a mediator for a bit! LOL Ashton was a bit tired from driving so I think that didn't help! But we all went back to James' house and had a good conversation! I knew Ashton and I would get along great, as well as Ja'Vaughn, but it seemed like Ashton and I were more alike.

That was the first time I met the boys and I think overall it was good first impressions! :D That was the start of 2 new friendships for me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Early days- 971&991

I don't know that I've mentioned it on here or not, but the numbers on the posts.. These were our radio numbers when I first started there! :D Later his got changed to 919, so I will refer to that number when I move on to us living together! ;-)

So after the first date, and becoming gf/bf, and that first kiss, we continued seeing each other quite often. I remember some great times just relaxing at his house, or him at my house. He'd come over after a work-out, or just because. It was so sweeet! I loved our times together. He even fell asleep and snored on my couch! ;-) It was hilarious! He'd get self-conscious though because I would watch him and he'd wake up. Too funny!

He also did this one thing that we referred to as "Rat Cheese". He was such a kid at heart. He would take his glasses and place them down his nose. Then he would make a rat face and just was goofy! It made me laugh so hard! So if his glasses ever went down low on his nose, I would say "Rat Cheese!". LOL It was fun and made us laugh.

I remember when he would bring me dinner to my apt on my dinner break. It was so cool for him to do that! He would drive clear across town just to see me for 20 mins! He was such a champ! He sometimes would complain, but I know deep down that he loved it! :D

I remember that September I believe I had a party at my house. I had some friends from work over. He was on a military weekend. I think he was a bit jealous, but that just showed me how much he really cared for me! After that point I think we grew closer together and really were looking to the future.

I know he had thought maybe he should break it off, but then realized that he wanted to be with me. I also had to give him an ultimatum once too because I wanted to make sure that he wanted the same things as me. We had, in our early days, discussed kids. He knew I wanted them, and he had even talked about wanting more too! He told me that he had a vasectomy after his youngest was about 6 months, but he had always thought if he found the right one that he'd reverse it. He said he had always thought about a daughter, but knew that God knew what he was doing by not giving him one! :D

The ultimatum was given that gave him a chance to get out if he had changed his mind about kids. I told him I couldn't date someone that didn't want any, and that if he didn't that he needed to tell me now. I told him that if he didn't we could only be friends, nothing more. this was when he went away for a long weekend Military trip so that he wasn't near me to influence him. I think that time when I dropped him off at the airport was almost harder than when I brought him back to the airport to go back after R&R. Thank goodness he stuck with me! I knew then it was for real! :D

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The day we became bf/gf! :D 971 & 991

Well after the first date we kept talking, calling, and seeing each other. It was great! I would stay over and just chat until Midnight or so! We'd crash on his bed just relaxing! I loved it to say the least!

I still remember the first kiss! We were laying on his bed just relaxing. He then leaned in and did the eskimo kissing thing. You know the rubbing noses thing, then he leaned in and actually kissed me! He was a good kisser! ;-)

So we continued on our dates, and one night went to Taco Bell. Of all places we had been, we were just sitting there eating. Then in walked the director from the jail! Oh my! I was worried since non-supervisory staff and supervisors weren't supposed to date and I didn't want us in trouble. James said he didn't care and wasn't going to hide. I don't remember if she even said anything to us there. But sure enough a day or 2 later she called me into her office. UGh! LOL

So I went up and she asked (mind you they didn't ask James.. hmmm.) and asked if we were dating... I of course through out the age card and said "Umm.. no. We are just friends! His sons are my age!" She seemed to buy it... Oh and this was in Aug. when I was in Basic Officer Academy. Which really was a waste of time! ;-)

Then we headed over to Wal-Mart. There we ran into one of his former soldiers. He introduced me as his girlfriend. It had been about 2 weeks that we had been dating, and I didn't know we were! It was a good feeling! ;-)

That time period we also had taken one of his soldiers out for dinner too. It was cool to go out with him as a unit! I felt like I was in! :D So that's how I knew we were offical and together alone!

First Date. 971 and 991

I guess for memories I should talk about our first date.. and what led up to that..

I started working at the jail March 21, 2005. The first week during my training they had the supervisors were doing a charity thing. They were getting tazed as part of their training and there had been a raffle to raise money for something.

So James was one of the supervisors that was getting tazed. The funny thing was that he sounded JUST like Chewbaca from Star Wars while he was going down! It was Hilarious!!! That was the first time I had really seen him, and my first memory of him.

At that time I was dating someone else. We ended up breaking up a bit after that. I was working on second shift and did all of my overtime on 1st shift, where James worked. I was usually roving (roving is where you bring inmates from point a to b, or bring stuff to officers, help respond in emergencies, etc.). I usually checked with the supervisors to see if they needed anything.

James intrigued me too. I heard he was military, and being a military brat, it was really interesting. I started talking to him and he was a really nice guy. We would chat and got along well. He was also a member of CERT (like swat for the jail), and that was really interesting.

Well one day in July, he said that I should come over to his place and watch a movie sometime. I agreed and said that would be fun. Something happened and we weren't able to exchange numbers. I remember telling my cousin about him, and we googled him but couldn't find anything on him.. Hmmm...

So I went back to work but he was on days off (he had Sun/Mon off) then I went on days off, so that Thursday I mentioned to him that I couldn't very well come over on my days off if I didn't know where to go. I said we needed to exchange numbers. So he started to give me his.. I stopped him and gave him mine. I have a thing that if I take a guys number I am not interested, so if I give mine I am! ;-) So he took my number.

He called me and we talked and so on July 26, 2005 I went to his house to watch a movie. I was sooo nervous! I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know his age either. So I came in and we small talked. I remember sitting in the chair, the tan one, by the door, he was on the couch. He then said, "You can sit over here if you want" so I moved over to the couch by him! :D

We chatted then decided to go for a drive. I moved my car and we got into his 4Runner. It was blue, my favorite color. He asked about music and I saw his CDs! I had a lot of the same ones, including Lyfe, which had been my favorite CD at the time. I was instantly smitten! LOL So we went and got gas and headed over to the lake. We drove around and just talked. It was so nice and we got along so well. We went back to his house and then I left that night late. Nothing happened, but it was a wonderful date! We agreed to meet up again very soon!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Should I shant I?

I would add a poll, but I don't know how to.. so if anyone reads this... just leave a comment.

Before cancer James and I were planning on having babies, and had a VR to do so. We found out about the cancer, and found out his VR failed. So we had a testicular biopsy done and froze 1.1 million sperm. James said if something were to happen to him, he'd want me to continue on and have a baby.

What do you think? Should I? Shant I? I plan on if I decide to go ahead then I would wait until after the first of the year. My sister says it isn't fair for the child to not have a father. What about if I were to have gotten pg and then he died? Or what about those that are fatherless by choice? Is that any different? I figure they would have 2 great big brothers to tell them about their dad. What are your thoughts?

New life??

Well as of May 21, 2009 my life has changed forever. I am no longer Mrs. James. I am just Katie. :-( I never in a million years thought that I would be a widow at the ripe old age of 25, nor that James would die so young! It's so scary and confusing and I just don't know.

So this is my new blog. I want to journal my memories of James so I don't ever forget the good things. I also want to be able to write about my feelings, how it is, and how I grow. This world is SOO crazy sad! :-( I miss James more than anything and I don't know what life will bring to me!

I don't really care if anyone ever reads this... but I just need a place to type and be me. I had a crazy short marriage and wish that I could have had more. SO that is my first entry.